What is a Friendly Divorce®?

Sometimes when people learn about our work at A Friendly Divorce they chuckle and say “A Friendly Divorce – that’s an oxymoron.” Others wince and ask “where were you ten years ago, when I needed you?”

OUR PHILOSOPHY: The majority of our clients don’t start out friendly. But, for most couples, a friendly (or at least a friendlier) divorce is possible. As we see it, when a couple has children, divorce is a process of family restructuring: the marriage ends, but husband and wife remain Mom and Dad. It is their task to transition from living in one house to two and eventually become Grandma and Grandpa to the same babies. When a couple has no children they still need a forum for cooperative problem solving in order to divide their property and finances; make shifts in their physical, social, and psychological lives; prepare the necessary court paperwork; and move positively into the next phase of their lives.

Our problem-solving philosophy is in contrast to the tenets of adversarial divorce. We do know that a traditional/attorney-driven divorce is right for some families. This is the way to go if you or your spouse needs legal protection. For example, if you are unaware of what the marital assets are or how much your spouse earns, you may want a divorce attorney to investigate all of these details before agreeing to any financial arrangements. Additionally, if you or your spouse feel intimidated as the result of domestic violence or coercion, negotiating without a divorce lawyer is a bad idea. On the other hand, we also know that when people are emotionally vulnerable and feeling betrayed, rejected, and frightened, its easy to fall into the downward spiral of a traditional/attorney-driven divorce. And, so many couples are poorly served by a legal process that treats a major life transition as if it was just another law suit.

OUR PURPOSE: At A Friendly Divorce our purpose is to save our clients money and heartache. We help couples move in a more positive direction, side-step the negative nature of an attorney-driven divorce, problem-solve, reach agreement, secure uncontested divorces, and find friendlier futures.

Many of the couples who end up in a traditional/attorney-driven divorce wouldn’t be there if they knew that another option existed. Our mission is to let it be known that there is a better way:

Your family doesn’t need to spend its financial resources on two attorneys whose focus is arguing over dividing whatever is left,

Your kids don’t need to become entangled in a legal war zone, and

You and your spouse don’t need to get stuck in mushrooming conflict for years to come.

OUR PROCESS: Our unique divorce mediation process provides a forum for communication and problem solving. Typically, the process includes two or three face-to-face meetings, which may be combined with individual telephone or email consultation.

Mediation becomes a time for negotiation and opening up the channels of communication. Following your mediation session you will receive a draft of your customized Marital Settlement Agreement. This agreement will cover future parenting plans and how finances (and child support) will be handled during and after the divorce. Then you will come back to our office to read and sign the Marital Settlement Agreement. We will then fill-in the state approved forms necessary for filing an uncontested divorce.

If you need a QDRO (to divide a pension), a deed, or a revision to your estate plan we can refer you to other legal resources. Ultimately, the agreement and forms are filed with the Clerk of the Court and your case can be set for a final hearing as an uncontested dissolution of marriage.

We have offices in Boca Raton and Gainesville, Florida and serve couples throughout Florida. We can help you if you will be filing for divorce anywhere in Florida. (We regularly help people filing in Broward County, Palm Beach County, and Alachua County.)

Books for Children Aged 8-12

Bonkowski, Sara. Kids are Nondivoceable: A Workbook for Divorced Parents and Their Children. 1987

Byars, Betsy. The Animal, The Vegetable, And John D. Jones. 1983 (Fiction. Two sisters look negatively upon a beach vacation with their father, his woman friend, and her son.)

Cleary, Beverly. Dear Mr. Henshaw. 1983 (Fiction)

Cruise, Robin. The Top Secret Journal of Fiona Claire Jardin. 1998 (Fiction)

Danzinger, Paula. Amber Brown Sees Red. 1998/2009 (Fiction)

Gardner, Richard A. The Boy’s and Girl’s Book About Divorce. 1985

Gardner, Richard A. The Boy’s and Girl’s Book About Stepfamilies. 1985

Giff, Patricia. Rat Teeth. 1990. (Fiction)

Glass, Stuart. A Divorce Dictionary: A Book for You and Your Children. (Uses anecdotes to explain legal terms.)

Grollman, Earl. Talking About Divorce and Separation: A Dialogue Between Parent and Child. 2005 (Written by a Rabbi. Read together.)

Harris, Scott & Sherman, Richard. Divorcing With Kids: An Interactive Workbook for Parents and Their Children. 2007

Holyoke, Nancy & Nash, Scott. A Smart Girl’s Guide to Her Parents’ Divorce: How to Land On Your Feet When Your World Turns Upside Down. 2009

Hunter, Evan. Me and Mr. Stenner. 1976 (Fiction. An 11 year old learns she can love her father and stepfather at the same time.)

Ivery, Martha. Pickles and Peanuts. 1996 (Fiction. A 12 year old girl experiencing the separation of her parents has a renewed relationship with her mother whom she holds responsible for the break-up. Peanuts is the girl, Pickles is a dog.)

Jukes, Mavis. Like Jake And Me. 2005 (Fiction. About a boy and his step-father.)

Krementz, Jill. How It Feels When Parents Divorce. 1988 (Photographs and essays of 19 children/teens presenting their feelings about their parents’ divorce.)

LeShan, Eda. What’s Going To Happen To Me? When Parents Separate or Divorce. 1986 (Answers questions about divorce in simple language.)

Mayle, Peter. Why Are We Getting A Divorce? 1988 (Illustrated)

Nickman, Steven. When Mom And Dad Divorce. 1987 (Fictional accounts highlighting divorce issues.)

Nightingale, Lois. My Parents Still Love Me Even Though They’re Getting Divorced: An Interactive Tale For Children. 1997 (Combines story and activities to foster conversation.)

Park, Barbara. Don’t Make Me Smile. 2002 (Fiction. A boy’s adjustment to his parents’ divorce.)

Prokop, Michael. Divorce Happens To The Nicest Kids: A Self-help Book For Kids. 1996

Ricci, Isolina. Mom’s House, Dad’s House for Kids. 2006.

Seuling, Barbara. What Kind of Family Is This? A Book About Step-families? 1985 (Illustrated)

Snyder, Zilpha. The Headless Cupid. 1999 (Fiction. Step-sister is a witch.)

Thomas, Shirley & Rankin, Dorothy. Divorced But Still My Parents: A Helping Book About Divorce For Children and Parents. 1997 (with workbook activities for ages 6-12)

Winchester, Kent & Beyer, Roberta. What In The World Do You Do When Your Parents Divorce? A Survival Guide For Kids. 2001

Books for Children Up To Age 7

Abney, Joseph. Anaiya Lives with Daddy; Anaiya Visits Mommy. 2009

Bienenfeld, Florence. My Mom and Dad Are Getting A Divorce. 2002

Boegehold, Betty. Daddy Doesn’t Live Here Anymore. 1985

Brown, Laurene & Marc. Dinosaurs Divorce: A Guide For Changing Families. 1986

Christiansen, CB. My Mother’s House, My Father’s House. 1990

Girard, Linda. At Daddy’s On Saturdays. 1991

Ives, Sally. The Divorce Workbook: Guide For Kids and Families. 1985

Johnson, Janet (and others). Through The Eyes of Children: Healing Stories for Children of Divorce. 1997

Klutts, Shanna. Daddy Doesn’t Live Here Anymore. 2010

Lansky, Vicki. It’s Not Your Fault Koko Bear: A Read-Together Book for Parents and Young Children During Divorce. 1998

Levins, Sandra. Was It The Chocolate Pudding? A Story For Little Kids About Divorce. 2005

Masurel, Claire. Two Homes. 2003

Menendez-Aponte, Emily. When Mom and Dad Divorce: An Elf Help Book For Kids. 1999

Monroe, Robin. Why Don’t We Live Together Anymore?Understanding Divorce. 1998 (Christian)

Padoan, Gianni. Break-Up: Facing Up To Divorce. 1990

Perry & Lynch. Mommy And Daddy Are Getting Divorced. 1985

Rogers, Fred. Let’s Talk About It: Divorce. 1998

Schmitz, Tamara. Standing On My Own Two Feet: A Child’s Affirmation of Love In The Midst of Divorce. 2008

Seuling, Barbara. What Kind of Family Is This? A Book About Stepfamilies? 1985 (Illustrated)

Simon, Norma. All Families Are Special. 2003

Stinson, Kathy & Oelofsen, Vian. Mom and Dad Don’t Live Together Anymore. 2007

Thomas, Pat. My Family’s Changing: A First Look At Family Break-Up. 1999

Vigna, Judith. I Live With Daddy. 1997

Weninger, Brigitte. Good-Bye Daddy! 1997