Lessons from a Divorce Tragedy

October 24, 2013 9:41 am Published by Comments Off on Lessons from a Divorce Tragedy

This is the story of a true divorce tragedy. Today headline in the Palm Beach Post reads “Man Killed Estranged Wife Then Died In Police Confrontation.”  Sadly, this is an all too common scenario.  This time it really hits home because the shooting happened in my hometown, Boca Raton, Florida.  Yes, divorce can make even sane people snap.  But, the reality is these incidents should not happen at all.  Here are the lessons we can learn from this horrific story.

1.  This was a man who did not know how to divorce with dignity.  His previous divorce was a long, drawn out nightmare.  You can see the file from his first divorce online with the Palm Beach County Clerk.  Considering how it was handled last time it makes sense that he would believe that this would be a similar experience.

2.  The Family Court system and the professionals involved failed this family.  We owe it to those who seek our consultation to teach them a better way, even when they don’t want to listen.  It seems to me that the professionals involved had ethical obligations not to allow the kinds of things this man did.

3.  The lesson to the average person is don’t marry someone who you won’t be able to divorce. When someone has already proven they are vengeful, think twice.  The deceased wife had to have watched the prior divorce and think – what if that was me?

4.  It’s time for us to put on the social pressure.  As a society, we need to face the reality that divorce is a sad process of family transition.  And, like any other life transition, we should expect adults to be able to move through divorce with grace.  When someone is unable to do that we should treat them with mental health interventions, not give them access to the courts.


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