Divorce is difficult for a variety of reasons. For many people not knowing what life will look like when the dust settles is crazy making. Our intention here is help you get some clarity about what you can expect during and after your divorce.
Divorce is a major life transition that affects every family member and brings about the restructuring of all significant life functions. Many people going through divorce find this transition the most difficult change of their adult lives. The impact of divorce is momentous because divorce affects us psychologically, socially, financially, logistically, physically, and legally. This means that in addition to your legal divorce, you will experience readjustment and shifts in each of these other aspects of your life.
The courts only usher you through the legal aspect of your divorce. When the other issues of life remain unaddressed during divorce they can cloud reality and foster unrealistic expectations about what the courts can do. To better understand what can and cannot happen in court remember that:
- Court TV shows are for entertainment and do not portray the realities and complexities of the system, especially the complicated rules of evidence.
- The family court system should not be used as a tool for revenge or punishment and this tactic can easily backfire.
- Often those who want to provide you with support and protection become emotionally charged themselves and their misguided efforts serve to fuel the fire instead of helping you move on with dignity and grace.
- Sometimes in a divorce case, even if you win in the courtroom, you lose in the court of life. The drain and anger of a high conflict divorce can be emotionally and financially devastating and make you unattractive to a healthier potential mate.
- Every case is different. Even cases that seem similar will play out differently. So do not depend on legal advice from your friends and relatives.
Sometimes, partners reach a mutual decision to divorce. And, sometimes one partner makes this decision unilaterally. In Florida when one spouse says it’s over, it is. There may be hoops to jump through but if someone wants out of a marriage (and tells the court that the marriage is irretrievably broken) the court will eventually dissolve the marriage. However, before a couple can be divorced parenting and financial decisions have to be made and paperwork must be prepared and filed with the court.
Sometimes a divorcing person thinks that the only way to get in front of a judge for a divorce is to hire an attorney. But, hiring an attorney is just one option. Additionally, you can choose to fill-in and file your paperwork on your own. Or, you and your spouse can hire a mediator who can help you reach an agreement and prepare you for an uncontested divorce.