Why Did Tiger Cheat?December 13, 2009 7:21 am Comments Off on Why Did Tiger Cheat?
The Top Ten Reasons Why Tiger Cheated
1. Sexual addiction. Like many child stars, this child athlete was objectified, becoming a commodity to his handlers. It follows that he now sees other people in the same light, as objects to satisfy his needs.
2. The evolutionary explanation is that man’s biological need is to spread his seed and thus ensure survival of the human race. Culturally this plays out in our setting and accepting the double standard. (Boys will be boys, right?)
3. Why did Tiger cheat? Forget the word cheat. After 20 years of mediating divorces I know infidelity is usually just an attempt to satisfy unmet needs. Money, fame, and endorsement contracts can make life easier but they cannot fill up the emptiness inside.
4. Marriage is difficult and every marriage presents challenges. In Tiger’s case there were significant cultural differences and the stress connected to celebrity. Additionally, this couple faced the typical pitfalls that couples encounter when the focus is moved from “the we” onto the children, and work-related travel and the normal stress of life get in the way.
5. Culturally we provide no marriage preparation. When hormones are running high, no one wants it. How can young people learn about what it takes to make marriage work when all they have it the romantic fantasy the media provides? Society should impose marital education that would include both an extensive pre-marital assessment/profile and follow-up into the first few years of marriage.
6. There is a Universal Law that no one gets a free ride. High highs bring low lows. You know, the bigger they are, the harder they fall. Now’s his time to feel the pain of humiliation. And, after all that glory, its gonna be big. We may have only seen the tip of the ice berg.
7. He didn’t think we’d care. After all, he’s not a minister, politician or other proponent of high morals. When a holy-roller hypocrite is caught cheating its their hypocrisy, more then their human failings, that do them in. Tiger is just an athlete, not a Conservative pundit or an Evangelical Minister. He is entitled to make mistakes, after all he never told us how to live.
8. Others got away with it. Kobe, Letterman, Hugh Grant, Woody Allen, Bill Clinton, Ted Kennedy and others have been able to continue on after their naughty headlines. Sex scandals come in degrees. Within reason we are happy to cut most men some slack.
9. The Shadow. This is Carl Jung’s term for the repressed and denied aspects of self. We project out the opposite of what we identify with with. Whats repressed is expressed. So its natural that Woods’ wholesome persona had an indecent unconscious shadow aspect.
10. Like all of us, Tiger’s greatest strength is also his greatest weakness. And, like the rest of us, whats best about him is also whats worst about him. Tiger’s uncanny ability to block out other thoughts and focus on the moment and his game has made him the world’s most successful golfer. But, this same ability to concentrate and be in the moment may have allowed him to block out the consequences for his actions and put his marriage out of his peripheral vision. Is Tiger a one-trick pony? (A golf success and a life failure.) I don’t know. Stay tuned and we will find out.
(Special thanks to my friend and colleague Dr. Renae Lapin, LMFT who once again proves two heads are better then one. Renae’s feedback sparked the magic of brainstorming and allowed me to finish this post.)